The Way I Am
by Alidiabin
Summary: Why Abby dresses the way she does. Warning: Underage drinking.


**Title:** The Way I Am  
**Fandom:** NCIS  
**Words:** 954  
**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing  
Parings:** None  
**Warnings:** None  
**Spoilers:** None  
**Characters:** Abby  
**Summary:** Why Abby wears what Abby wears.

_**The Way I Am**_

Abigail Suctio's basement apartment is littered with photographs. Many are recent some are from girls nights out with Ziva, others from bowling competitions and other escapades with her many friends. There is one photo in a pink frame that sits not far from her bed (or more accurately coffin). It shows two girls no older than fifteen in jeans and coloured t-shirts. One girl had lighter hair and hazel eyes. The other, even with blondish hair and little makeup was unmistakably Abby.

Her name was Savannah Simpson they met on the first day of school, as they after each other in the roll. They were fast friends initially bonding over a love of pigtails and lilac rather than pink. By the end of first grade they were inseparable. They were always together as field trip buddies or in the playground. All their teachers remarked they were close friends. They frequently heard tales of sleepovers and play dates. The pair were always seen together with pigtails. Their most serious fight was in junior high over a boy named Martin James. Even that was resolved in little more than a week.

Even as they grew up and their interests grew further apart, Abby was into science where as Savannah was into history, they remained inseparable. Abby despite being a science 'nerd' had many other friends and was a lot more socially outgoing. Savannah, on the other hand was more introverted and weary. Savannah believed in superstations and bad feelings. Abby did not. One March evening when they were fifteen, Abby got invited to a party; she insisted she bring Savannah along. The people in charge of the party followed the philosophy the more the merrier so Savannh was allowed to come. Not the she wanted to Savannah was weary and said she had a bad feeling, as they Abby dragged her into Trent Humming's parent-free house.  
"Vannah" Abby commanded "Just have fun"

So Savannah did. She let loose. She finally did what Abby wanted her to do. She danced. She drank. She drank a little too much. She ended up touching Madison Stevens' boyfriend inappropriately. Madison, who was a lot more drunk blew the whole thing out of proportion and threatened to hit a defenceless Savannah. Abby managed to diffuse the situation and dragged Savannah out of the Humming's house.  
"I'm a little" Savannah slurred. "D- d- drunk" Abby nodded, though she had seen her Uncles far more drunk.  
"I know Vannah" Abby said "Sit hear" Abby said placing her intoxicated friend on the front porch "I'll work out how to get us home"  
"I can help you with that" Billy Brown a boy in the year above said from his pick-up truck.  
"Really" Savannah slurred.  
"Where you headed?" Billy asked getting out of his truck. And flicking his dark hair back. Billy was neither popular nor unpopular at the school. He moved closer. His walk was slow and a tad unbalanced. Abby could smell alcohol on his breath. She had watched all the videos. Listened to all the warnings. The stern Principal of North High's voice echoed in her head 'Never get in the car with a drunk driver.' Abby knew she shouldn't but she and Savannah weren't exactly the most popular people at that party, so Billy was their only option. They weren't even supposed to be at the party. As far as both the Suctios and the Simpsons were concerned they were at each others houses. It was a good lie as it would be hard for either side to check, due to the Suctios deafness. Abby had also bribed her little brother, not to tell. Abby told Billy where they needed to go. She walked back to her friend.  
"I got us a ride" Abby said helping Savannah stand up.  
"I have a bad feeling" Savannah begun.  
"You always do" Abby interrupted, but a bad feeling washed over her too, she ignored it.

She told Billy to drive slowly because she felt sick. Billy was a lot more drunk than Abby thought, the car swerved over the dividing line frequently, luckily the Louisiana roads were empty. Abby looked down for just a second because Savannah was murmuring. Billy drove though a stop sign and onto a truck. The truck driver couldn't stop.

Abby woke up in a hospital room. Her Uncle and brother signing to her parents while the doctors spoke.  
"Vannah" Abby murmured.  
"Miss Suctio, the car you were in collided with a truck, Miss Simpson and Mr Brown were killed." The doctor said coolly. Abby would never fully remember what happened next, the doctors pumped her with sedatives. She only dreamed of Savannah. She dreamed of waking up and it all just being a nightmare. It wasn't.

Things changed. Abby begun to trust her instincts more and not just rely on science. Every time she tried to deny her instincts Savannah's voice echoed in her head. The dark clothes started after the funeral. At first it was just a way to show how she felt on the inside. She had always preferred dark clothes to bright clothes but after Savannahs death it became more of choice than a preference. Then she found make-up and a whole subculture. She found music that described exactly how she was feeling. She found her niche. Well sort of, even then she didn't quite fit. She always seemed too nice. Too friendly. It was because she had already lost one friend that she tried so hard to hang onto every friend she had. She insisted on affection. Just in case they weren't coming back. She put a happy face on. She became, the bouncing caffeine addicted Goth, who was friends with almost everyone.

'_Abby Suctio really the happiest Goth you'd ever meet'_

A/N: I feel I must explain myself. Many times people who dress excessively gothic have a past. This is true in characters 'Emily Prentiss' had an abortion and then started dressing Gothic. 'Penelope Garcia' started dressing Goth after the death of her parents. 'Lisbeth Salander' dressed Goth after a traumatic childhood. Even real people, who I actually am friends with, have reasons for how they dress. Sad reasons.

I do hope we get to see some more of Abby character development next season.


End file.
